I'm rather rabid about protecting my "rights", while at the same time recognizing that none of us are truly born with any real right to anything. What we actually enjoy, at least in this country, are "allowances". We are allowed by those in power to presume that we can say what we want, do what we want, think what we want, all within a framework of manageable chaos which we call democracy. You need only observe the machinations of the Bush Administration or the Putin Regime to understand that this freedom we take so much for granted is a tenuous concept at best. The right people in the right place will dictate just how free any one of us are to live our lives as we see fit.

I also happened to notice, while I was growing up and learning all about rights and how few of us really understand what they are, that with rights come responsibilities which few of us are aware of or are too lazy to embrace. So, I think I have the right to think and say anything I damn well please, but I also have a responsibility to exercise that right in such a way as not to harm someone either deliberately or by negligence. I WILL fail in this endeavor, but I WILL cling to the defense that I am at least trying. Most people, of course, are not going to concern themselves to much by how "getting theirs'" is going to effect those around them, because a "free" society also tends to be a very self-centered society. You might argue this point, but while you are dragging out your big guns, let me give you THIS broadside. You would think that social evolution would deal with problems as they arise and solve them, rather than create them. Really? Then tell me why, before Ronald Reagan came along, no one used the word "homeless" very much? Tell me why, then, are the mentally ill gunning down people in wholesale numbers instead of being managed by a mental health system that SURELY should have a clue by now as to how to deal with these people, who, incidentally, are simply you and me just one emotional upheaval away? Tell me why, in the name of free enterprise, we seem to have forgotten the idea of national interest, such as keeping OUR citizens employed and off the streets rather than shipping their livelihoods overseas so that third world nations can aspire to be just like us? (Third world nations, I might point out, that hate our guts, and sadly, have every right to.)

We are afraid of each other. So damn intent are we to protect our "rights", we see to it that every citizen has the right to arm themselves, even if we end up arming the very people we are arming ourselves against. It seems we would much rather shoot someone needing our help then to simply help them, unless of course, they have the good grace to shoot themselves once their rampages are out of the way. Then we bath in the media circus that always follows, following the pointing fingers, then going back to our self-centered lives and trying not to think about the next massacre that will surely happen, because, after all, we are no longer our brother's keeper, are we?

I WILL practice my rights as I see fit, as long as the police state allows me to. My practice of rights does not happen to include owning a pristine, green lawn devoid of all life other than one genetically engineered species of grass. It does not include contaminating my water table with herbicides and pesticides and all those other poisons we can pour on a yard. It doesn't include seeing to it that my neighbors are worshipping the right God, or bringing the righteous weight of moral society down upon their sinful heads if they aren't. It doesn't include living my life as though my being at the top of the food chain really means I'm a superior species that needs no regard for his fellow creatures. It does mean that I will keep jacking my jaws, pointing out the obvious, and maybe not-so-obvious, until my turn comes up and I get to die just like everybody else.

Or is that a responsibility?

You tell me.

What will be YOUR legacy? Will it be the words carved into granite that loved ones think will define you? Will it be a short synopses in an obituary that could hardly come close to telling strangers who you were? Will it be the memories you left them that will slowly fade as the generations you left behind turn back to their own lives till they themselves pass beyond the veil?

There are precious few ways for the common man to leave behind a lasting legacy. The names we all know and recognize from the history books each in their own ways left behind them a reason to be remembered by the collective, some for good things, others for bad, but never for having lived an ordinary life. Such the pity. Sometimes, if you are lucky, someone will tell you the story of someone they once knew, who made an impact upon them, and that name, for that moment, will live a bit longer, but then, it will find it's way into the cosmic trash-can and be gone forever. That has always been the fate of the common man, a fate I believe challenges the fairness of this kind of fame. If immortality can be described as being remembered by the living for as long as children are born and told of what came before, then it seems one CAN live forever, if history in itself can be described as a path to immortality. And who can say that EVERY man is not as equally deserving of being remembered?

So, what will be MY legacy? Till recently, short of some epiphany striking me out of nowhere causing me to invent something as powerful as cold fusion, anti-gravity, or a bra strap that any man can unhook easily, I was convinced that my legacy would be as short lived and extinct as anyone's.

Then came Blogger.

Since I began to record my thoughts and my life in this medium, open to all, there are now countless more individuals aware that I exist. It is even possible that if I were to die tomorrow, my words and thoughts would live on, preserved, quite possibly forever, in this electronic mind that holds the thoughts of millions of people. Those that come across my blog would not read some artful snippet that said I died of whatever, lived on what street, and was survived by whom, but rather they would read what I had to say about my life and what I believed it amounted to. Is that not perhaps a new kind of legacy that levels the playing field of memories populated by the likes of Edison, Hitler, Roosevelt, and Einstein? No, I will never be mentioned in history books: my name will never end up as an answer to a test question, and there will not be a block of stone with my name on it listed as a "must-see" stop on some tourist map. But, I will remain. Here. And people will always be able to visit me, and even continue the conversation with comments, albeit ones that can not be replied to.

THAT could be MY legacy.

As well as YOURS.

Say your piece now. Say it loud, say it proud. Tell your grandchildren about your grandparents. Let your future widow's suitor know why she's so worth loving. Let all those people you tip-toed around all your life know what you REALLY felt about them. Trust in the truth to always set you free, and realize that your truth can't be everybody else's. Slip in some uncomfortable facts between the lines and hope no one notices before that time when judgment is moot. Accept how ordinary you are, despite the outside chance, to someone at least, you never were. If you happen to be superficially beautiful, or outstandingly ugly, set that aside now, because it won't matter where you are going. Be prepared to meet in heaven the people you condemned to hell, and vice versa, for vanity and ego are blind. And if you are one of those lucky individuals, who, perhaps, through cosmic malfunction, returns for another stab at life and remembers this one, then go back and log onto Blogger, just to refresh your memory, and perhaps come to terms with who you once were, and what you meant in the grand scheme of things.

The world hasn't ended just yet so I can't report on it. Birds still fly and fish still swim so the worst of what's considered normal these days hasn't come to my attention. Good things, and bad things, continue to occur at a glacial pace here at Pendragon Hold. While yours truly is deeply submerged in his literary and journalistic funk, you CAN keep yourself entertained by perusing through the archives of the several blogs I inflicted upon the free world over the years. I hear somewhere in there a chuckle or even a groan has been illicited. I wouldn't know; I just wrote the stuff.

But, hey, do not despair. The oceans might turn acid, a big rock might smack the planet, or a troublesome percentage of humanity might just up and vanish one day. Stranger things have been known to happen then me finding the inspiration and freedom to resume this blog. Till then, if the networks can keep you happy with re-runs, so can I.

Blessed be!

I usually visit my favorite blogs by opening up The Chronicles and hitting the links to them. However, yesterday, much to my chagrin, I discovered that the template for The Chronicles had "gone south", leaving the blog without any of it's structure, just a dull orange/brown background, the template having either malfunctioned or disappeared altogether. I don't know if this is the result of some sort of outside hack or something I did on my computer, but the damage was done and I had to reconstruct the blog. What you see now is not exactly what I'm looking for, but it will do for now, especially since I'm not back into posting shape as of yet. Stay tuned, hopefully I can restore The Chronicles to it's former glory, albeit with a different template.

Yes, just like in every household, "something" happens here at Pendragon Hold every day. The main problem of late is the "quality" or rather "bloggability" of those "somethings" that do occur here. A blogger requires inspiration, whether that be the excitement of a looming foreclosure or his/her opinion on upcoming health care legislation, but mostly it's just the day to day madness that is the typical pagan American home life that gets copy. For me, your host, THE Michael, Lord Holder and Harper of Pendragon Hold, that typical pagan life has been comprised of either tripe too uninteresting to be put to pen or drama more fit for the gossip rags that get their fodder from the likes of Tiger Woods. So, lately, I either can't or simply don't WANT to spend an hour staring at this screen either censoring myself or trying to imagine what might have happened around here that is worth the monitor it's displayed upon. Plus, I am inflicted with a lack of desire to make shit up, which many a blogger has been accused of but will never find traction in regards to these Chronicles. Thus, I report to you this post that folks, there just isn't anything worth posting (with My name attached to it) to the Chronicles for now.

One of the reasons this could possibly happen is that I assigned my rants, raves, and concise reasoning to that OTHER blog you all know and love. Ok, fine; MOST of you know and a FEW of you love. But even in that case, as of late, I have suffered from a severe form of dontgiveashititis brought on by feeling like Don Quixote tilting at windmills. Once one has convinced themselves from THE RECORD that mankind is inherently a suicidal life form hell bent on killing itself, one loses the motivation to light his tiny little candle in an effort to hold forth against one big bad shadow which is overtaking everything good in this world. So, if my rage builds to the point I either post something or go postal, I will spare my wife and family the stigma by posting a venting scream rather than making a half-hearted dent in the population, which even N1H1 and Middle Eastern suicide bombers don't seem to be making much progress in whittling down.

Sometimes I feel that if anybody truly knew me, they would know that there is so much more light in my soul than the darkness I sometimes seem to drag around with me. I think I love to much while not loving nearly enough. I might simply be broken; I don't know. All I do know for now and for sure is that I need a break from thinking about anything, including writing on this blog, so bear with me, please have faith in me, and know that all you special human beings that have stuck with me and mine throughout these years; I love and care for you in the only real way I know that matters. I'll be back. Maybe sooner than later. I am, after all, obsessive/compulsive. I'll be visiting the portals into YOUR life as I always have. Just keep a candle lit in the window.

There's a cold rain falling on the sands of Pendragon Hold today. And, according to reports from my family on Facebook, there is snow falling in Houston, a place, much like the Jacksonville area, that normally never sees it. The last time it "snowed" down here was the year I first came to Florida from Alaska. I guess I brought it with me. At any rate, there wasn't a lot of it, it mostly just iced up the roads, and the ensuing chaos was a sight to behold, especially from the viewpoint of one who was used to driving on ice as a matter of course. What Southerners don't know is that you don't apply the brakes AT the stop sign on ice……you start easing onto it half a block back, and studs on your tires help a lot. Slip sliding away………he he………

As far as anything else of note……well……lessee…….what CAN I say? THE Dotter is heroically slaving away at her new job, but isn't enjoying it, no more than THE Wife did when she was trapped in it for all those years. Folks, if you don't already know this, take this to heart; RETAIL SUCKS. However, there is the sweet smell of hope upon the breeze in regards to her getting a better job. Let me just stick with "hope" and leave it at that. There are other dramas I could report on but won't, as drama is a dish best served by it's own cook, and I tread in that kitchen at my own peril. Let's just say that life is not always perfect, but it IS life, and the alternative is…well……

We took advantage of a VERY narrow window of good weather last night to hold a Full Moon Rite here in our sacred circle. It had stormed the night before, and the weather really sucks today, but last night, the clouds moved off, the sky was clear, and Momma Moon graced us with the silver light of her full glory. We accepted some guests and made our wishes beneath the gaze of our Goddess, and all told it was a pleasant night to be Wiccan. If Christians can become one with their God the way we become one with our Earth Mother, then all power to them. It is indeed a powerful feeling.

Already the Christian/secular holiday of Christmas is going full-tilt boogie. The volume of holiday music was so loud over the overhead speakers at the hospital that even the doctors started getting annoyed and the calls to the front desk started getting hot and heavy. Of course, Walmart is already decked out in full holiday commercial "Buy THIS for your loved ones" displays. Considering just how bad our economy is right now, with SO many breadwinners out of work, it would be nice if the media and the commercial sector would get a clue and tone down this capitalist madness. We just can't afford this spending orgy that Christmas has become, and it's time for all of us to really re-examine what this holiday should really be about. I grew to hate the hypocrisy of this holiday even long before I converted to paganism, but even now I recognize that the essence of what this holiday is supposed to represent got hijacked by the commercial sector and made into something ugly, not necessarily the fault of those who think they follow the tenants of Christ, the "Son of God". Perhaps a healthy boycott of these spending frenzies could moderate this greed for once. I think Christmas should be about families loving each other enough to set aside petty differences and coming together to celebrate their love for one another. And to eat turkey. Lots of turkey. And gravy…..

However, we here at Pendragon Hold will be celebrating Yule, a true pagan sabbat, that was the original boilerplate holiday hijacked by the Christians to celebrate the birth of their savior. We here at the Hold don't believe that we needed to be saved from anything except perhaps our baser human nature. We have our Yule log from last year which we will burn on our fire, and we will make a new Yule Log to guide and protect us throughout the challenges we'll face in the next year. However you celebrate this December, we here at Pendragon Hold wish you and yours the very best that life can afford you, and will even wish you all, if it be your path, a very Merry Christmas, and a very happy New Year.

Ladies and Gentlemen, and I mean that most sincerely, what you are about to witness via the art of linguistics and interpretations of vague symbology and runes, is the Thanksgiving edition of The Chronicles of Pendragon Hold, the Blog known around the world as that "pompous pontification" no one ever heard of. I know that sounds oxymorish (did I invent yet ANOTHER word?) on a very profound level, but humor me here…..

Yours truly, THE Michael, spent the holiday in the company of a fine group of female super-heroes, the kind of women you want in your corner if you fucked with fate, and fate won. The sick, the injured, the suicidal and the demented, they all come to be cared for by a remarkable cadre of professionals who are willing to put up with some disgusting things in order to make a real difference in the lives of people truly needing someone to care about them. It's MY job to help these remarkable ladies take care of their patients, and I am so proud to be able to take care of "my girls", and get payed to do it.

There's a lot about the health care system in this country that needs some serious overhaul, the paramount consideration being this affront we call health "insurance", which truly IS an oxymoron, when you consider that the true priority of any for-profit corporation is to make money, mostly for it's greedy CEO and upper tier executives, while the patients, stockholders, and providers get bent over and screwed royally. I know that many of you think that a single payer system is some sort of communist conspiracy to "pull the plug on granny" and "take away your choice", but many more of us know this is nothing but bullshit propaganda force fed to those of us with little or no critical thinking skills who deep in their heart only care about themselves and would begrudge the lesser of us even the basic kindnesses, even affordable healthcare.

Caught in the middle of this epic battle between what I consider to be down-to-earth good and evil are the health care workers, the nurses, aids, medical technicians and others who help people recover from devastating medical conditions, and don't own yachts or private jets in exchange for their efforts. Yes, our doctors and physician assistants are in the forefront of this holy calling, but yes, they command pretty damn good compensation for their education and sacrifice, some somewhat in excess, some no where near what is deserved. But, I can tell you this, I would not wish what these people have to put up with for 12 hours straight each work day on ANYBODY who hasn't got the drive, the commitment, and the caring soul to take on these challenges and preserver to the great benefit of the sick and suffering. I know for a fact that most of you would faint or vomit when faced with some of the horrifying sights we deal with everyday and think nothing of.

So, for this Thanksgiving, aside from all the blessings you have been graced with, like still having a job, a roof over your head, food on your table, and good health, I would like you to set aside just a smidgen of thanks for all these nurses and health care workers who give so many people so many more years to sit at a table and give thanks for anything at all, or ease them as gently as possible into Summer-land, where every day is Thanksgiving Day.

Welcome to another episode of the award-winning blog known around the world and on at least three alien planets as The Chronicles of Pendragon Hold, the first person observations of one man, concerning his wife, family, livestock, pets, and invertebrates. Join us as we allow you a glimpse into the hidden world of a family SO famous, no one can tell you who we are or what we are supposed to be famous for! Now THAT's famous! Take THAT, hotel hussy!

Unfortunately, there's not a hell of a lot to report on in the world of the Hold this week. We didn't go anywhere, we didn't do anything, no one lost their jobs, no one got hired into a better one, and all our animals are safe, sound, and well fed. Me, personally, am quite happy to be able to report on our rather mundane situation, which I consider much more preferable to having to report of some disaster, illness, accident, or silly drama. When I read the news feeds or watch World News Tonight, I seem to find yet one more thing to worry about, thus the rather boring living situation we happen to find ourselves in the grips of is rather refreshing.

Oh, wait......there WAS one incident.

THE GREAT KITCHEN FLOOD OF 2009!

Yep, the pump that evacuates the water in the dishwasher apparently got jammed or something, causing an overflow onto the floor of the kitchen. After cleaning up the gallons of water that really messed up my nice, shiny waxed no-wax linoleum, I did some creative knob turning, button pushing, and water bailing to finally get this labor saving device back to saving us some labor. So, no, we do not have to wash dishes by hand until we can afford to buy a new one. That would be tragic, considering that we are of the generation removed from the one that was forced to actually clean their dishes in a SINK, of all places! Having lost that sacred knowledge to the ages would have placed us in the precarious position of either having to buy paper plates and utensils or having to attend classes on how to operate a kitchen sink and manual dish drying device. I hear those green scrubby things are a real terror to handle.........

Nothing else broke down, but THE Wife's continued abuse of our ancient technology stove with it's steel drip pans and plug in circular heating elements has me thinking I really should replace it with one of those easy to clean and hard to mess up beauties with the smooth tops. Besides, the temperature readout on this one we have now has faded out so badly we have to turn off the kitchen lights in order to see it.

In our continuing report on nothing worth mentioning, the weather here has been rather nice of late, never going over 80, in the day, while getting perhaps a little chilly overnight. We are enjoying that rather narrow band between hot humid misery and cold, clammy overcast grey glum. This I like!

Well, I promised you, my loyal readers, SOMETHING in the way of content, and by Gods, I delivered, didn't I? Well, stick around, because in no time at all (hopefully not to exceed another week or two or three) you will be treated to yet ANOTHER award winning episode of the premier blog the blogging world has said "takes up valuable space that might otherwise be wasted in some other asinine fashion by someone who doesn't even write in English....."

No offense to our Pakistani audience, of course.........